Ticket Presentation Desk

Tickets for exclusive events, as well as inclusive ones, must be presented here for verification before they will be accepted elsewhere in Villa Twaklinilkawt.

Ticket prices reflect not only the consistently high quality of the services supplied through Villa Twaklinilkawt but also the unpredictable situation regarding currency markets, the state of the global economy and the need to implement contingency arrangements for relatively predictable, and horrendously unpleasant, climatological and political possibilities.

Upgrades of tickets are available if you wish to overcome various uncertainties.  How much have you already paid, in total, to be here?

Enhancing your enlightenment is quite possible with the payment of additional fees.  To upgrade your ticket, please refer to the notice below:

Special archival access: From $20,000

Superior hospitality services: From $30,000

Executive-level guest rooms:  From $80,000

Season tickets for exclusive theatrical performances: Available here

Celebrity tutoring: From $120,000

Celebrity mentoring:  From $800,000

C-Suite services: From $5,000,000

Ethereal coaching: From $12,000,000

Advanced personal security services:  From $3 billion. (If any submarines are likely to be required, please add a similar amount for each one, in cash.  Government bonds are not accepted here.)

Luxurious underground tour: From $8 billion. (If a radiation leak is detected prior to ticket issuance, the tour will still go ahead subject to your willingness to pay an additional $200 billion.  You will also be required to sign a waiver document.  No legal liability will be accepted on the part of your atomic automaton tour guide towards yourself, your future progeny and all future life in South Australia).

All prices quoted above are in Australian dollars and inclusive of GST and other impertinent impositions.  The amount payable may change without notice. If the Australian currency crashes disruptively, please pay in gold ducats, pink diamonds, sustainable real estate, priceless artworks and/or world peace.

To negotiate a discount on any of the above prices, please contact at least two senior members of the official Twaklinilkawt communications team at your (and their) earliest convenience.

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